What are extracurricular activities for?

Extracurriculars can feel thrilling — or like a complete waste of time. Savana Smart, 13, knows that from personal experience. These days, the rising ninth-grader in Smyrna, Georgia, spends many of her afternoons working on two passions: coding and playing guitar.
“Coding caught my eye because it’s really fun to have the power of making things with your computer, in your hands,” says Smart, who often finds that she wants to stay at her after-school coding program too long.
“At first I had a hard time going to Code Ninjas, because I’d want to stay so long,” she says. “I’m juggling my want to invigorate myself and know more things, but I still have to eat dinner and get my homework done.”
To find her passions, Smart had to try out a lot of unfamiliar activities, from tennis to dance to theater. She also had to learn how to decide when something wasn’t right for her. “I hated piano, and I don’t want to do it ever again,” she says. “I realized that it didn’t excite me anymore — it just wasn’t my instrument.”
For Smart, and many other kids, extracurriculars are a way to figure out what they like, which will shape what they want to spend their lives doing. “As we grow older, we’re developing our own understanding and perspective of the world,” says Fedjounie Philippe, a high school counselor at KIPP New Jersey, a charter school in Newark, who also teaches a summer college admissions course at Princeton University. “These experiences help us grow into people, because we start to articulate our own skills and interests.”
In other words, parents and kids shouldn’t think of extracurriculars as part of a checklist for getting into college. They’re more meaningful than that: They’re a way for kids and teenagers to figure out what they’re passionate about, what they value, and who they are — and to have fun. Parents can help their children learn how to pursue their interests (and model how it’s done).
How do young people figure out what they’re passionate about? By trying things and following their instincts, whether that means starting their own neighborhood newspaper, volunteering at an animal shelter, or joining an astronomy club at the local planetarium.
“Extracurricular activities don’t need to be team sports. They can be academic competitions or clubs associated with their cultural background or performing arts,” says Dr. Harpreet Kaur, a board-certified clinical pediatric psychologist in Orange County, California.
When her patients draw a blank about what they’re interested in, she likes to ask them to explore their values — creativity, family, faith, friendship, nature — and then use those values to set specific goals. “When I do that, kids know that I’m listening, but they’re also more motivated to engage in activities because they align with their values, not mine or their parents’,” Kaur says. “If we start thinking outside the box and using their values, I’m confident we’ll be able to find something they’re interested in.”
Philippe suggests exploring different opportunities within your community, especially since so many public institutions offer free or financially accessible extracurricular options. “If you’re interested in roller skating, go see if there are club events at your local community center,” they say. “This is an individualized process, and everyone finds the right answer in their own time.”
Smart emphasizes that you need to try lots of different activities to find the right fit. “There’s no harm in trying something,” says Smart, who plans on trying lots of activities in high school, including an interior design elective and culinary arts. When you take a chance, be open to seeing where it leads you.
As it becomes more challenging and inscrutable to get into selective colleges, parents face challenging questions of their own: How much should they push their children towards certain extracurriculars? How much does it really matter for college admissions? How can they encourage activities without becoming helicopter parents or pressuring kids about their resumes?
Extracurricular activities should follow what a kid is genuinely interested in, which parents can help their children explore. “Do the work of figuring out what your interests are by simply following your curiosity with some initiative,” says Rachel York, an admissions counselor at IvyWise and an application reader for Northeastern University. “Parents can have some of those conversations and help to brainstorm opportunities.”
Kaur, who often sees anxious and depressed kids and teens in her practice, has clear advice for families. “Parents should allow their children to explore interests without putting too much pressure on them to overcommit,” she says. “I want children and teens to be able to go to their parents and say that they’re feeling stressed and fatigued and no longer interested in an activity, so that the adults around them can intervene and help them.”
What does that kind of supportive environment look like? “Check in with them often and create an open dialogue,” advises Kaur. Make sure to ask them questions: Are they enjoying the activity? Do they feel excited about it? What do they like about it? Think about the questions you’d ask a friend about their job. If a job or an extracurricular makes a loved one feel stressed, anxious, or bored, then it’s likely not the right fit. “Back your children up and see what they would like to do,” suggests Smart. “They’re still young and need room to think for themselves.”
When kids are young, extracurriculars are all about learning what they enjoy. Once they’ve figured out some of their interests, it’s natural to want to pursue them more deeply, whether that’s through a traveling sports team or a leadership position in a club or a personal research project. Encouraging students to follow and hone their natural interests helps them develop a sense of confidence about their values and preferences, which sets them up for more dedicated efforts and commitments beyond high school.
“The leadership piece is what an admissions officer does look for,” says Courtney Agyeman, a college and career advisor at Foundation Academy Charter School in Trenton, New Jersey, who has also worked as an admissions officer at Rider University. “That shows leadership, dedication, and time management, which are transferable to what you’ll be doing on a college campus.”
Being a leader doesn’t have to mean starring in the school play or becoming team captain. Again, it’s all about pursuing a child’s interests. “If you’re interested in a club, how are you interested in it? What about you is adding value to that space?” asks Philippe. Taking your interest further could mean pursuing an independent project with an advisor or bringing in guest speakers, rather than running for treasurer. “You want to have an independent, critical-thinking child who is about to navigate self-sufficiency,” they say. “It’s all in the minute day-to-day of how students find meaning in their extracurricular activities.”
Agyeman stresses that responsibilities and jobs count as extracurriculars, too. After all, taking care of a relative after school or supporting their family financially expresses commitment, a work ethic, and a student’s strong value system. “To go home and watch Netflix all day doesn’t show discipline, but if you’re going home and taking care of your siblings or watching your parents’ store, that is discipline,” says Agyeman.
She often works with first-generation college students who run payroll or the supply chain for a parent’s small business, and she encourages them to frame their extracurricular commitments in a professional context on their college applications. “They’re up against competition with kids from really affluent areas, so they need to show that they’re equally disciplined, focused, and driven,” Agyeman says. “All you can do is take advantage of everything that’s in front of you.”
Kids today are experiencing a mental health crisis — on top of all the overwhelming biological changes that come with puberty. That means that it’s vital for kids to learn how to take care of their mental health, which includes taking breaks and getting enough sleep.
“When kids aren’t structured and have breaks in their schedule, it allows them to explore their interests,” says Kaur. “Relaxation breaks, being around family without devices or structure, hanging out with friends — we know these things lead to positive mental health outcomes.”
That doesn’t necessarily mean giving up on piano lessons because a child finds practice annoying. But if a kid is burned out and stressed, they probably have too much on their plate. And if a kid really dislikes an activity, it can be an important time for them to learn how to listen to their own preferences. “Go with your gut,” says Smart. “If you feel yourself saying, this isn’t what you want, trust yourself.”
Extracurriculars aren’t just for getting into college — and they’re not just for kids. How we spend our time outside of school and work helps us learn about ourselves, develop our values, and enjoy our lives, as children and beyond.
If you want your kid to develop and devote themselves to their interests, then you should be doing that yourself, too. Are you in an adult recreational sports league with friends? Do you make time to practice the piano? Do you regularly show up at city council meetings or volunteer in your neighborhood or community? If you model what it looks like to care about and commit to your extracurriculars, whatever they may be, it’ll encourage your kid to live by the same values. (And it’ll probably be fun for you, too.)
When Kaur works with college students, she often sees them panic at the end of a set path. “When they spent high school planning to get to college, it leads to this sense of confusion and emptiness,” she says. “They’ve put in so much energy to get to this place that they lose sight of the big picture.” A good way to avoid that vertigo is to have clear interests and values, which we develop in our free time — in other words, extracurriculars. “If you feel sure of who you are, then you’ll be able to persevere even when you don’t have boxes to check off,” she says.
Kids are perceptive, and they can see when adults find meaning and purpose in their own interests — and when they feel overcommitted or drag their feet. That’s a big part of why Kaur encourages families to practice taking breaks and having downtime together. “The hope is that they go on to maintain the process and have a healthier, happier adult life, where they aren’t so tied to their achievements and accomplishments but to who they are as people,” she says. That’s worth practicing at any age.